We’re sponsoring Planet Granite Belmont’s Battle for Bolts on Oct. 17th. PG asked all the sponsors to contribute advice for the competitors, and we found ourselves falling into rhyme:
I just met a climber tonight
Who told me, “Here’s how to climb right
your shoes will feel sweet
when they’re fit to your feet,
and they’re laced up So F*#king Tight.”
a more amorous one:
I once met a climber from Boulder
Who had some freaking jacked shoulders
I belayed her up and down
helped her climb around,
but all I really wanted was to hold her.
some real advice:
Did you hear about the climber from Colorado?
Who has such a strange motto:
‘Climb safe, climb hard…
rub your flappers with lard,
and finish all your meals with an avocado.’
for facing strange competition:
I once faced a climber from ‘frisco
Who was powered by purely Nabisco
While not sure to believe him,
To make sure I beat him,
I lathered all the holds with Crisco!
Which one would best prepare you for a 24-hour climbing competition?