Some limericks

We’re sponsoring Planet Granite Belmont’s Battle for Bolts on Oct. 17th. PG asked all the sponsors to contribute advice for the competitors, and we found ourselves falling into rhyme:

I just met a climber tonight

Who told me, “Here’s how to climb right

your shoes will feel sweet

when they’re fit to your feet,

and they’re laced up So F*#king Tight.”

a more amorous one:

I once met a climber from Boulder

Who had some freaking jacked shoulders

I belayed her up and down

helped her climb around,

but all I really wanted was to hold her.

some real advice:

Did you hear about the climber from Colorado?

Who has such a strange motto:

‘Climb safe, climb hard…

rub your flappers with lard,

and finish all your meals with an avocado.’

for facing strange competition:

I once faced a climber from ‘frisco

Who was powered by purely Nabisco

While not sure to believe him,

To make sure I beat him,

I lathered all the holds with Crisco!

Which one would best prepare you for a 24-hour climbing competition?

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